Not much to report, so here are some photos instead

I hope you never have to experience the inside of an oncologist's examination room. It's quite boring.

But how nice that my Oncologist was the 2012 patients' choice recipient. I wanted to do a scene from "Elf" and yell, "CONGRATULATIONS!!!"

Nothing to report. Dr. Wilson confirmed that I should get a biopsy on the cyst on the right side. Then I'll meet with him again in July after the biopsy results are available. Hopefully Dr. Jain will be correct and it will be nothing of concern.

Lovely little moments

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV

Well put, Dalai Lama!

Last week was full of wonderful happenings. I met with an old friend I'd not seen in years, and she shared with me her journey with LCIS. Lumpectomies, Tamoxifen, etc. It didn't sound so scary.

I spoke with a specialist at Breast Cancer Connections and she emailed me a slew of information that I'd not been able to find online or at the library.

A good friend's sister was in town visiting, and she happens to be a genetic counselor, so I was able to get another professional perspective on my situation.

At the end of the week, I met a friend's mom who is a breast cancer survivor, and her diagnosis was much more serious than mine. She's doing wonderfully, and offered support.

A relative who I thought was lost to me forever rejoined my life.

Many lovely moments to be thankful for!

Nothing to see here, move along ... no, wait, maybe there's something to see here

I had the mammogram and an ultrasound on my right breast today. Dr. Jain said that it didn't look like anything abnormal, but that because I'm now high risk for developing an invasive breast cancer, she'd like to do a biopsy on the right breast. Oh joy. The biopsy hurts more than the lumpectomy, but at least the recovery time is quicker.

I see Dr. Wilson (the Oncologist) on Wednesday, and then July 8th I'll have the biopsy.

I'm not crying, I have something in my eye.

I knew it was going to happen, it just took longer than I expected. My mom visited me in a dream last night.

I was in a theater, in the dark, and the lights came on, so I guess the play had just ended. I stood and turned around and my family was in the row behind me, still seated. My mom had been sitting behind me the entire time.

I said to her, "I've been waiting for you. I thought you were gone."
She responded, "No. I'm not gone. I'm always here." 

And then I woke up, but desperately tried to go back to sleep, to the dream. I wanted to talk to her some more. 

Today was hard. It feels as if I am finally starting to grieve. So many people tell me that I'm strong, but I don't see what they see. I just don't want to be that mopey person that is depressing to be around, so I am trying to be strong, and humorous, but today I just need to cry and possibly, admit that I'm really quite frightened about everything going on with my health. Today I am so grateful for Alan and his hugs, and for not having to be brave around him. I'm grateful for a beautiful day of sunshine.